I am in need of someone elses opinion to help me fix this sentance something is off with it but i cant seem to figure out how to fix it. I need a fresh eye and a smarter brain for this one.
European doctors are big supporters of herbal and nutritional supplements together with traditional treatments such as chemotherapy used on hundreds of patients every year to amplify their progress.
thanks.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
Um...no one wants to help your classmate? Tsk, tsk.
Here's what I would do:
European doctors are proponents of herbal and nutritional supplements. They are used in conjunction with traditional treatments, such as chemotherapy, on hundreds of patients every year to amplify thier progress.
I want to help a classmate. Don't listen to Mrs. Moon, she's a teacher. Here's my sentence: European doctors support the use of herbal and nutritional supplements in conjunction with traditional treatments (i.e. chemotherapy) on patients every year to amplify their progress. Isn't that much better and different?
haha thank you both :) i will weigh the pros and cons of each sentance and make my final decision by moday. this will be a lenghly process...
Mandrew, I like your sentence, too, but mine is actually much better...
Pleassssee, Mrs. Moon. Your usage of descriptive diction adds to the complexity of the sentence, shifting the focus from the doctors and their approach to a malignant disease to the wording of the phrase, which is confusing to the reader. Do the right thing, Sarah!
i think you should just take that sentence out completely
Hey,why don't you just go ride your bike to Harris Teeter and buy a gallon of green tea, "theJULIAN"?
Sarah, I will be interested in your final choice. Julian, if you ride your bike, please remember to wear your helmet!
Post a Comment